Alexa, play Blackbird by The Beatles ♬♪♩
Life has a way of leading us down unexpected paths, where joy and sadness often intertwine. Recently, I made the difficult decision to get my tubes taken out—a choice that brought forth a wave of complex emotions. In this post, I want to share my heartfelt journey—a story of longing, acceptance, and ultimately, finding the strength to embrace a new chapter in my life.
If you’ve been following me for awhile, you’ll know that I have had more failed pregnancies than successful. After enduring years of loss and heartbreak, including a recent one in late 2022, I decided to undergo a salpingdectomy, removing one or both fallopian tubes. This choice was about taking control of my body, prioritizing my mental well-being, and learning to move forward, as living with constant hardship had become challenging.
March 2023 was a big month. March felt like the end of an era for me as I will no longer be able to have children. The realization of this definitely weighed heavy on my heart. And it’s a loss that I’m learning to navigate and embrace. The dreams I once held dear may have shifted, but in this space of transition, I’m finding solace in knowing that my family of five is already a treasure beyond measure.
Amidst the sadness, a spark of excitement ignites within me. With my salpingdectomy, I’m free to embark on a journey of self-discovery and rekindle the passions and dreams I’ve set aside. Because as moms, we always come last when it comes to the echelon of taking care of people. The future holds endless possibilities for me to explore, to venture out and find myself again. I can nourish my own growth and flourish in ways I may not have imagined before
Change can be bittersweet, but it also offers a chance to redefine what family means to me. While I may not be able to expand our family biologically, the love and connection we share go beyond the confines of genetics. Our bond transcends blood, and in the embrace of my partner and children, I find immeasurable joy. We are a family of five, and together, we weave a tapestry of love and togetherness.
As I move forward, I celebrate the freedom and autonomy that comes with my decision. I take pride in knowing that my choices regarding my own body are mine alone. This newfound empowerment grants me the courage to embrace the journey of self-discovery, to seize opportunities that bring me joy and fulfillment, and to create a life that reflects my true essence.
In the depths of sadness, the spark of excitement, and the joy of cherishing my beautiful family, I find the strength to navigate this bittersweet journey. Life is like a symphony, composed of harmonious and contrasting notes, creating a mesmerizing and ever-evolving melody. And as I embrace change, I’m reminded that this chapter offers both growth and gratitude. Though the road may be uncertain, I’m ready to step forward, hand in hand with my loved ones, ready to create a future that is uniquely ours.
This was such a beautiful read ❤️ thank you for sharing this with us
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
You made Dwayne snivel. We both agree, you have an amazing way with words.
Please know, we are very proud of you (and your family). We will always be there for all of you.
You are the daughter we never had.